General Doctor Jokes
Why did the doctor carry a red pen?
In case they needed to draw blood.
What did the doctor say to the patient who was afraid of getting a shot?
Don’t worry
it’s just a little prick-ly.
Why did the doctor become a gardener?
Because they wanted to grow patients!
What do you call a doctor who fixes websites?
A docktor!
Why did the doctor break up with their partner?
They just didn’t have any chemistry.
What did the doctor prescribe to the sick tomato?
Catch-up!
Why did the doctor always carry a pencil?
In case they needed to draw a conclusion.
What did the doctor say to the patient who was always late?
Your time is up!
Doctor Puns
What do you call a doctor who is always calm?
A cool doc!
Why did the doctor go to art school?
To learn how to draw blood!
What did the doctor say to the patient who thought they were a deck of cards?
I’ll shuffle you out of here!
Why did the doctor start a band?
Because they had the right patients!
What do you call a doctor who can play the piano?
A med-ic musician!
Why did the doctor always carry a ladder?
To reach new heights in medicine!
What do you call a doctor who tells jokes?
A pun-derful physician!
Why did the doctor become a chef?
They wanted to spice up their practice!
Medical Humor
Why did the doctor bring a broom to work?
To sweep the competition away!
What’s a doctor’s favorite type of music?
Hip-hop-otamus!
Why did the doctor fail their driving test?
They couldn’t find the right “patient” speed!
What did the doctor say to the patient who was a magician?
Don’t worry
I can make your pain disappear!
Why did the doctor go broke?
Because they lost their patients!
What do you call a doctor who is a great comedian?
A laugh-ologist!
Why did the doctor always carry a suitcase?
Because they were always ready for a “check-up” trip!
What do you call a doctor who is a great dancer?
A “swing” physician!
Doctor-Patient Jokes
What did the patient say to the doctor when they were feeling better?
Thanks for the “prescrip-shun”!
Why did the patient bring a ladder to the appointment?
To reach new heights in health!
What did the doctor say to the patient who wanted to be a comedian?
Just don’t quit your day job!
Why did the patient always carry a pencil?
They wanted to draw the line at their symptoms!
What did the doctor say to the patient who was a baker?
Your dough is looking good!
Why did the patient ask for a second opinion?
Because the first one was a little “off”!
What do you call a patient who tells tall tales?
A “fib”-roid!
Why did the patient bring a suitcase to the hospital?
They were ready for a “stay-cation”!
Funny Doctor Scenarios
Why did the doctor always carry a clock?
To keep track of their “time” with patients!
What happened when the doctor and the patient started a band?
They had a lot of “sick” beats!
Why was the doctor always invited to parties?
Because they knew how to “heal” the mood!
What did the doctor say when they finished their marathon?
That was a “run-derful” experience!
Why did the doctor bring a pencil to the gym?
To work on their “drawing” muscles!
What did the doctor say to the patient who was a writer?
Let’s “edit” your symptoms!
Why did the doctor always carry a camera?
To capture “picture-perfect” moments!
What did the doctor say when the patient asked for advice on dating?
Just be yourself
and don’t forget to “check” your heart!
We hope you enjoyed these hilarious doctor-themed dad jokes! If you’re looking for more laughs
check out our collection of dad jokes about cooking or take a quack at our dad jokes about ducks. Laughter is the best medicine!