Classic Vampire Puns
Why did the vampire get a job at the blood bank?
He wanted to work on his “stake” in the business.
What do you call a vampire who loves baseball?
A bat out of hell!
Why did the vampire break up with his girlfriend?
She wasn’t his type; she was a little too “pale” for him.
What do vampires use to keep their hair in place?
Hair gel
but only the “blood” type.
Why do vampires always seem sick?
Because they’re always coffin!
What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A necktarine!
Why did the vampire join the gym?
He wanted to work on his “fangs” of steel!
What did the vampire say to his date?
“I find you very “a-bleeding”!”
Vampire Food Jokes
What’s a vampire’s favorite dessert?
Blood pudding!
Why do vampires hate fast food?
Because they can’t eat it after sunset!
What do vampires order at a restaurant?
A blood orange soda!
Why was the vampire chef so popular?
He always served his meals with a “bite”!
What do you call a vampire who loves to cook?
A “fang-tastic” chef!
What’s a vampire’s favorite type of pasta?
Fettuccine “blood-roni”!
Why did the vampire refuse to eat garlic bread?
He said it was too “offensive” to his palate!
What do you call a vampire who loves coffee?
A “brews”-feratu!
Vampire Lifestyle Jokes
Why do vampires make terrible secret agents?
They can’t resist “spilling” the blood!
What do you call a vampire who loves to travel?
A “blood” wanderer!
Why do vampires prefer the night?
Because they can’t stand the “light” of day!
What’s a vampire’s favorite mode of transportation?
A “blood”-mobile!
Why did the vampire get kicked out of the party?
He kept trying to “suck” the fun out of it!
How do vampires stay in shape?
They do “bat” workouts!
What do you call a vampire who loves yoga?
A “flex”-feratu!
Why did the vampire invest in real estate?
He wanted to “stake” his claim!
Vampire Movie Jokes
What’s a vampire’s favorite movie genre?
Anything with a good “bite”!
Why don’t vampires like romantic comedies?
They prefer their love stories with a little more “bloodshed”!
What do you call a vampire movie with terrible acting?
A “fang-tastrophe”!
Why did the vampire go to film school?
He wanted to learn how to “direct” his own bloodbath!
What’s a vampire’s favorite classic film?
“Dracula” – it’s a real “blood”curdler!
Why did the vampire refuse to watch horror movies?
He said they were too “gory” for his taste!
What do you call a vampire who stars in action films?
A “fang”-tastic action hero!
Why did the vampire take up acting?
He wanted to “bite” into a new role!
Vampire Relationship Jokes
What did the vampire say to his sweetheart?
“You make my heart “race”!”
How do vampires flirt?
They give you their best “bite”!
What did one vampire say to the other during a date?
“You’re “fang-tastic”!”
Why did the vampire always get dumped?
He was too “clingy”!
What’s a vampire’s idea of a romantic evening?
A candlelit dinner with “bloody” steaks!
Why do vampires make great partners?
Because they always “bring” the passion!
What do you call a vampire in love?
A “sucker” for romance!
Why did the vampire get married?
He found his “soulmate” in the afterlife!
We hope you enjoyed these hilarious vampire dad jokes! Whether you’re a fan of classic puns or just looking for a good laugh there’s something here for everyone. If you’re in the mood for more dad jokes check out our collection of dad jokes about Utah or take a look at our dad jokes about Vegas for even more fun! Happy joking!