Hammer Jokes
Why did the hammer break up with the nail?
It just couldn’t handle the pressure.
What did the hammer say to the screwdriver?
You’re really driving me crazy!
Why was the hammer so good at making friends?
Because it always knew how to hit it off!
What did the hammer say when it got a compliment?
Thanks
I really nailed it!
Why did the hammer go to therapy?
It had too many unresolved issues.
How does a hammer stay in shape?
It does a lot of weight lifting!
Why did the hammer bring a ladder?
It wanted to reach new heights!
What did the hammer say at the party?
This is a real smash hit!
Screwdriver Jokes
Why did the screwdriver apply for a job?
It wanted to get a little more torque in its life!
What did the screwdriver say to the bolt?
You’re really starting to screw with my head!
Why was the screwdriver always invited to parties?
Because it knew how to twist things up!
What do you call a screwdriver that tells jokes?
A pun-driver!
Why did the screwdriver get kicked out of school?
It couldn’t stop screwing around!
What did the screwdriver say to the hammer?
Stop hitting on me!
Why did the screwdriver break up with the wrench?
Too many mixed signals!
How does a screwdriver flirt?
It gives you a little twist!
Wrench Jokes
Why did the wrench fail its driving test?
It couldn’t handle the turns!
What did the wrench say to the rusty bolt?
Don’t worry
I can help you loosen up!
Why are wrenches bad at keeping secrets?
Because they always spill the beans!
What did the wrench say when it got promoted?
I’m really tightening my grip on success!
Why did the wrench bring a suitcase?
It was ready to travel the world and tighten things up!
How does a wrench ask for help?
It says
I need a little assistance!
What do you call a wrench that loves to dance?
A twist and shout!
Why did the wrench go to school?
To get a little more “tool-lege”!
Drill Jokes
Why did the drill apply for a loan?
It wanted to get to the root of its problems!
What did the drill say to the wood?
I’m about to make a hole in one!
Why was the drill always calm?
It knew how to keep its cool under pressure!
What do you call a drill that tells tall tales?
A drill-usionist!
Why did the drill go to art school?
It wanted to learn how to draw a crowd!
How does a drill stay organized?
It has a bit of everything!
What did the drill say at the comedy club?
I’m here to make some noise!
Why did the drill break up with the saw?
It was tired of cutting corners!
Measuring Tool Jokes
Why did the tape measure get promoted?
It was always measuring up to expectations!
What did the ruler say to the protractor?
You’re always so acute!
Why did the tape measure bring a pencil to the party?
To draw some attention!
How does a tape measure flirt?
It says
You measure up to my standards!
What did the measuring cup say to the scale?
You’re weighing too heavily on my mind!
Why was the measuring tape always so calm?
It knew how to take things one inch at a time!
What did the measuring tape say at the wedding?
Let’s tie the knot!
Why did the ruler go to the therapist?
It had too many issues with boundaries!
We hope you enjoyed these hilarious dad jokes about tools! If you’re in the mood for more laughs
check out these dad jokes about tests or take a ride with our dad jokes about trains. Keep smiling and keep those tools handy!