25 Dad Jokes About Onions That Are Absolutely Hilarious

Onion Puns

Why did the onion break up with the garlic?
It found someone a-peeling.

What do you call an onion that tells jokes?
A punion!

Why did the onion get promoted?
Because it was outstanding in its field!

How do you make an onion cry?
You tell it your problems.

What did the onion say to its friend?
You make me cry happy tears!

Why was the onion always invited to parties?
Because it knew how to layer the fun!

What did one onion say to the other during a race?
Let’s peel out!

Why don’t onions ever get lost?
Because they always follow the layers!

Onion Humor

What did the chef say to the onion?
You’re the zest of my life!

Why did the onion join a band?
It wanted to play the root-strument!

What did the onion say when it won an award?
I’m just here to make you cry tears of joy!

Why did the onion sit on the clock?
To be on time for dinner!

What did the onion say to the tomato?
You’re saucy
but I’m the real flavor!

Why did the onion apply for a job?
It wanted to make some dough!

What’s an onion’s favorite game?
Hide and leek!

Why did the onion get a promotion?
It always knew how to cut to the chase!

Onion Observations

What do you get when you cross an onion with a potato?
A cry-tato!

Why do onions never get lost?
Because they always stick to their roots!

What do you call a sad onion?
A weep-on!

Why did the onion go to school?
To become a little more cultured!

What did the onion say to the carrot?
Let’s root for each other!

Why did the onion fail its driving test?
It couldn’t stop crying!

What do you call an onion that can play the guitar?
A rock-onion!

Why was the onion always calm?
It knew how to peel back the layers of stress!

Onion Stories

What did the onion say to the chef?
Let’s stir up some flavor!

Why did the onion get a ticket?
It was caught peeling out!

What do you call an onion that tells fortunes?
A clairvoyant onion!

Why did the onion fail at relationships?
It couldn’t stop crying over past layers!

What did the onion say to the salad?
You complete me!

Why did the onion get a job in tech?
It was great at debugging!

What did the onion say to the fridge?
Keep me cool
I’m a hot commodity!

Why did the onion refuse to play cards?
It was afraid of getting peeled!

Onion Wisdom

What’s the secret to an onion’s success?
Layered preparation!

Why do onions make terrible secret agents?
Because they always leak information!

What did the wise onion say?
Life is full of layers
peel them back slowly!

Why did the onion become a philosopher?
It loved to ponder the layers of existence!

What’s an onion’s advice for life?
Always embrace your layers!

Why did the onion start a blog?
To share its layered experiences!

What do you call an onion that’s a motivational speaker?
A pep-onion!

Why do onions always stay positive?
Because they know how to peel away negativity!

Onions may make us cry but they also bring a lot of laughter into our lives! If you enjoyed these onion-themed dad jokes you might also like to check out some hilarious dad jokes about Ohio or some heartwarming dad jokes about orphans. Keep spreading the laughter!

Leave a Comment