Legal Puns
Why did the lawyer cross the road?
To sue the chicken on the other side.
What do you call a lawyer who doesn’t chase ambulances?
Retired.
Why did the lawyer break up with his girlfriend?
She had too many claims on his heart.
What’s a lawyer’s favorite game?
Truth or lawsuit.
How do lawyers say goodbye?
We’ll bill you later!
Why are lawyers like tornadoes?
They both create a lot of wind and leave your house in ruins.
What’s a lawyer’s favorite drink?
Subpoena colada.
Why did the lawyer bring a ladder to court?
To reach the high ground.
Courtroom Humor
What did the judge say to the lawyer who was late?
You’re in contempt of time!
Why don’t lawyers go to the beach?
Because cats keep trying to bury them in the sand.
What do you get when you cross a bad lawyer with a crooked politician?
Chelsea Clinton.
Why did the lawyer always carry a pencil?
In case he needed to draw a conclusion!
What do you call a lawyer who’s gone bad?
Senator.
How do you know a lawyer is lying?
His lips are moving.
What kind of shoes do lawyers wear?
Litigators.
Why did the lawyer sleep with a ruler?
To measure how long he’d been sleeping!
Legal Advice
What’s a lawyer’s advice for a successful marriage?
Always keep a lawyer on retainer!
Why did the lawyer go broke?
He lost his case!
What do you call a lawyer who doesn’t practice law?
Unemployed.
What did the lawyer name his daughter?
Sue!
Why did the lawyer take a bath?
To get a clean slate!
What do you call a lawyer who is also a magician?
A legal illusionist!
Why did the lawyer start gardening?
He wanted to plant some legal seeds!
What did the lawyer say to his client?
Let’s make a deal!
Lawyer Jokes
How many lawyer jokes are there?
Only three. The rest are true stories!
Why did the lawyer always carry a pencil and paper?
To draw up some new business!
What’s a lawyer’s favorite type of music?
Legal rap!
Why did the lawyer bring a suitcase to court?
He wanted to pack some evidence!
What’s a lawyer’s favorite type of exercise?
Suit-ups!
Why are lawyers great at soccer?
They know how to handle the penalty kicks!
What did the lawyer say to the jury?
I rest my case!
Why did the lawyer become a chef?
He wanted to serve justice on a plate!
Legal Terms and Jokes
What do you call a lawyer who can’t stop talking?
A legal brief!
Why did the lawyer get kicked off the plane?
For trying to file a motion in the aisle!
What’s a lawyer’s favorite dessert?
Subpoena pie!
Why did the lawyer go to art school?
To learn how to draw up contracts!
What do you call a lawyer who’s also a detective?
A legal sleuth!
How do lawyers prefer their eggs?
Litigated!
What did the lawyer say to his client who was nervous?
Don’t worry
I’m here to represent you!
Why do lawyers love nature?
Because it has so many “case” studies!
We hope you enjoyed these lawyer-themed dad jokes! If you’re looking for more laughs
check out our collection of dad jokes about laughing. And don’t forget to celebrate Leap Day with some fun by visiting our page for dad jokes about leap day! Keep smiling and sharing the joy of laughter!