Miracles and Wonders
Why did Jesus always carry a pencil?
Because he wanted to draw crowds!
Why did Jesus break up with his girlfriend?
She had too many cross issues!
What did Jesus say to the fisherman?
“You really need to scale back!”
Why did Jesus love math?
Because he could always count on his disciples!
How does Jesus stay fit?
He does cross training!
Why did Jesus use a computer?
To save his work on the cloud!
What’s Jesus’ favorite part of the playground?
The slide
because it’s a holy roller!
Why did Jesus refuse to play cards?
He was afraid of getting nailed!
Parables and Teachings
What did Jesus say when he saw the bread?
“This is my body
and it’s on a roll!”
Why did the disciples always carry a map?
Because they didn’t want to lose their way!
What’s Jesus’ favorite type of music?
Anything with a good beatitude!
Why did Jesus always tell stories?
Because he loved to parable!
How did Jesus keep his followers energized?
He gave them a little “bread” of encouragement!
Why did Jesus get kicked out of the bakery?
He kept turning the water into dough!
What did Jesus say to the crowd at the picnic?
“Let’s break bread together!”
What’s Jesus’ favorite exercise?
Crossfit
of course!
Faith and Belief
Why did the angel bring a ladder?
To help Jesus reach new heights!
What’s Jesus’ favorite game?
Crossword puzzles
he loves finding the right words!
Why did Jesus never lose at poker?
Because he always had a full house!
What did Jesus say to the doubting Thomas?
“You need to have a little more faith in the unseen!”
Why did Jesus always stay calm?
Because he had a lot of inner peace!
What did Jesus say when he saw the storm?
“Peace
be still—let’s not make waves!”
Why did Jesus love gardening?
Because he was great at planting seeds of faith!
Why did the disciples bring a ladder to the sermon?
To reach new levels of understanding!
Disciples and Followers
Why did Peter always bring a fishing rod?
Because he was hooked on Jesus!
What did John say to the other disciples?
“Let’s not get too carried away!”
Why did Judas always carry a pen?
Because he wanted to write his own script!
What do you call a disciple who can’t stop telling jokes?
A pun-dit!
Why was Matthew so good at accounting?
Because he always counted on Jesus!
What did the disciples say when they saw the loaves and fishes?
“That’s a miraculous buffet!”
Why did Thomas always carry a notebook?
He wanted to take notes on the good word!
What’s Peter’s favorite type of shoe?
Sandals
because they’re always in style!
Heavenly Humor
Why did the angels start a band?
Because they wanted to make heavenly music!
What’s Jesus’ favorite dessert?
Holy mackerel cake!
Why did the angel get kicked out of the choir?
Because he kept hitting the high notes!
What did the cloud say to Jesus?
“You really know how to lift spirits!”
Why did the heavenly host love to party?
Because they always had a blast!
What’s Jesus’ favorite type of comedy?
Stand-up
because he loves a good sermon!
Why did the saints always carry umbrellas?
To be prepared for heavenly showers!
What did Jesus say to the devil?
“You can’t tempt me; I’m too blessed!”
Thank you for enjoying these light-hearted dad jokes about Jesus! If you’re in the mood for more laughs check out our collection of dad jokes about January or explore some fun dad jokes about June. Keep smiling and sharing the joy!