Emergency Room Jokes
Why did the doctor carry a red pen?
In case they needed to draw blood.
What did the patient say to the doctor at the hospital?
I can’t believe I got admitted for a sneeze!
Why did the skeleton go to the hospital?
He had a bad case of the bones!
What’s a hospital’s favorite game?
Operation
of course!
Why did the doctor bring a ladder to work?
To reach new heights in patient care!
What do you call a doctor who fixes websites?
A ***doc***-tor!
Why did the nurse bring a pencil to the hospital?
In case they needed to draw some blood!
Why don’t hospitals ever get lost?
Because they always have a patient map!
Surgeon Jokes
Why did the surgeon break up with their partner?
They just couldn’t find common ground!
What did the surgeon say to the patient who was afraid?
Don’t worry
I’ve got you covered and I mean literally!
How do surgeons stay in shape?
They do a lot of ***knee*** bends!
What did the surgeon say after a successful operation?
That was a cut above the rest!
Why was the surgeon always calm?
Because they knew how to handle pressure!
What do you call a surgeon who can play the piano?
A ***chop***-inist!
Why did the surgeon join a band?
Because they wanted to work on their ***scalpel*** skills!
What’s a surgeon’s favorite type of music?
Anything with a good ***beat***!
Nurse Jokes
Why did the nurse always carry a pencil?
In case they needed to draw blood!
What did the nurse say to the patient who was feeling down?
Let’s take it one ***step*** at a time!
Why did the nurse go to art school?
To learn how to draw a ***line*** between work and play!
What do nurses use to keep their notes organized?
A ***binder*** full of patients!
What do you call a nurse with a sense of humor?
A ***fun***-damental caregiver!
Why did the nurse bring string to the hospital?
To tie up loose ends!
Why was the nurse always calm during emergencies?
Because they knew how to ***inject*** some humor!
What’s a nurse’s favorite type of humor?
Punny jokes that are ***well-timed***!
Patient Jokes
Why did the patient bring a suitcase to the hospital?
They were ready for a long stay!
What did the patient say to the doctor?
I’m feeling a bit under the ***weather***!
Why did the patient bring a ladder?
To reach the next level of health!
What do you call a patient who tells jokes?
A ***pun***-demonium!
Why did the patient always carry a notebook?
To keep track of their ***prescriptions***!
What did the patient say after their surgery?
I’m feeling a little ***cut*** up!
Why did the patient refuse to play cards?
They were afraid of getting a bad ***hand***!
What’s a patient’s favorite type of exercise?
Walking down the ***hall*** of health!
General Hospital Humor
Why did the hospital hire a magician?
To make the patients disappear into recovery!
What do you call a hospital that only treats plants?
A ***herb***-ital!
Why did the hospital start a band?
To promote healing through ***sound***!
What did the doctor say to the hospital food?
You’re really not my ***taste***!
Why do hospitals have such good Wi-Fi?
Because they want to keep everyone ***connected***!
What’s the best way to get a good diagnosis?
Just ask a ***doctor*** for a second opinion!
Why did the hospital staff always look so fresh?
Because they knew how to ***revive*** themselves!
What do hospitals and comedians have in common?
They both know how to deliver the ***punch*** lines!
We hope you enjoyed these hilarious hospital dad jokes! If you’re in the mood for more laughs
check out our collection of dad jokes about hair or dive into some stormy humor with our dad jokes about hurricanes. Remember
laughter is the best medicine!