Christmas Jokes
Why did Santa go to music school?
He wanted to improve his “wrap” skills!
What do you call an elf who sings?
A “wrapper”!
Why was the Christmas tree so bad at knitting?
Because it kept dropping its needles!
What do snowmen like to do on the weekend?
Chill out!
Why did the ornament go to school?
To get a little “tinsel” education!
What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frostbite!
Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctor?
He was feeling crumby!
What do you call a reindeer that tells jokes?
A “comedi-deer”!
Thanksgiving Jokes
What did the turkey say to the computer?
Google, google!
Why did the cranberries turn red?
Because they saw the turkey dressing!
What’s a turkey’s favorite dessert?
Peckan pie!
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field!
What sound does a turkey’s phone make?
Wing
wing!
Why did the turkey join a band?
Because it had the drumsticks!
How do you keep a turkey in suspense?
I’ll tell you at Christmas!
What do you call a stuffed animal that tells jokes?
A “punny” plush!
Halloween Jokes
Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts!
What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?
A sand-witch!
Why did the ghost go to the party?
Because he heard it was going to be a “boo”-last!
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite!
Why did the mummy go to the doctor?
He was feeling a little “wrapped” up!
What do ghosts serve for dessert?
I-scream!
Why did the vampire read the newspaper?
He heard it had great circulation!
What do you call a monster who poisons corn flakes?
A cereal killer!
New Year’s Jokes
What did the champagne say to the party hat?
Let’s pop some fun!
Why do you need a jeweler on New Year’s Eve?
To ring in the new year!
What’s a New Year’s resolution?
Something that goes in one year and out the other!
Why did the man break up with his calendar?
He felt it was too dated!
What did the clock do when it was hungry?
It went back for seconds!
Why did the New Year’s baby go to school?
To learn how to “count”!
What do you call someone who’s afraid of New Year’s?
A “calendar-phobic”!
Why did the New Year’s party get canceled?
Because everyone was too “tired” from last year!
Valentine’s Day Jokes
What did one volcano say to the other?
I lava you!
Why did the skeleton go to the Valentine’s Day party?
He had no body to love!
What do you call two birds in love?
Tweethearts!
What did the paper clip say to the magnet?
I find you very attractive!
Why did the boy bring a ladder to his date?
Because he heard the date was going to be “high” quality!
What did the heart say to the other heart?
You’re just my type!
Why did the girl break up with the calculator?
He couldn’t “count” on him!
What do you call a love letter from a cat?
A “purr-suasive” note!
We hope you enjoyed these holiday-themed dad jokes! Whether you’re celebrating Christmas, Thanksgiving, Halloween, New Year’s, or Valentine’s Day, there’s always room for a good laugh. If you’re looking for more humor check out some hilarious dad jokes about hockey or dive into some fun dad jokes about hunting. Keep smiling and sharing the joy of laughter!