Ancient Civilizations
Why did the Pharaoh go to therapy?
He had too many issues with his pyramid scheme.
What did the Roman say when he saw the salad?
“Lettuce conquer this meal!”
Why was the Egyptian so good at math?
Because he was great with his “Nile” numbers!
Why did the Greeks always carry a pencil?
In case they had to draw a conclusion!
What did the ancient Greek philosopher wear?
A toga
because he wanted to “think outside the toga!”
Why did the Romans never get lost?
Because they always followed the “road to success!”
What did the ancient Mesopotamian say to his friend?
“Let’s have a little ‘fun-damental’ discussion!”
Why didn’t the ancient civilizations ever play hide and seek?
Because good luck hiding when you built pyramids!
Medieval Times
Why did the knight always carry a pencil?
In case he had to draw his sword!
What do you call a medieval knight who is afraid to fight?
Sir Render!
Why did the castle always get good grades?
Because it had a lot of “knight” classes!
What did the jester say to the king?
“I’m just here for the ‘court’ jester!”
Why was the medieval banquet so loud?
Because everyone was “knight-ing” and dining!
What’s a medieval knight’s favorite type of music?
Heavy metal
of course!
Why did the peasants always look so happy?
Because they were “serf-ing” their time!
What did the scribe say to his friend?
“I’m just trying to make my mark in history!”
Renaissance and Enlightenment
Why did the artist break up with his girlfriend?
She said he was too “drawn” to his work!
What did the philosopher say at the bar?
“I think
therefore I drink!”
Why did everyone love Leonardo da Vinci?
Because he was a true “Renaissance man!”
How do you organize a space party?
You “planet” during the Enlightenment!
What did the scientist say to the mathematician?
“You’ve got a lot of ‘problems’ to solve!”
Why did the painter always carry a ladder?
Because he wanted to reach new heights!
Why did the Enlightenment thinkers love coffee?
Because it helped them “brew” new ideas!
What did the poet say to his muse?
“You’re my inspiration
let’s ‘verse’ it up!”
Modern History
Why did the historian always bring a map?
To avoid getting “lost in time!”
What did the computer say to the historian?
“You’re outdated
but I still respect your ‘data’!”
Why was the history book always so happy?
Because it had a lot of “good chapters!”
What do you call a history teacher who always tells the truth?
“Fact-ually” correct!
Why did the history student bring a ladder to class?
To reach the “high” points of history!
What did the modern historian say to the ancient one?
“You’ve got some ‘old’ ideas!”
Why did the history major break up with his girlfriend?
He said she was too “current” for him!
What’s a historian’s favorite game?
“Time” travel
of course!
World Wars
Why did the soldier bring a pencil to the battlefield?
To draw his weapon!
What do you call a war between two types of tea?
“The Great Brew War!”
Why was the army so good at math?
They knew how to “divide and conquer!”
What did the general say to his troops?
“Let’s make history together!”
Why did the World War II veteran always carry a compass?
He didn’t want to lose his “direction!”
What did the historian say about the war?
“It was a ‘battle’ of wits!”
Why did the soldier always write letters?
To keep the “mail” alive during the war!
What’s a soldier’s favorite type of music?
“March” music
of course!
We hope you enjoyed this collection of history-themed dad jokes! If you’re looking for more laughs
check out these hilarious dad jokes about heat or explore some funny dad jokes about houses. Remember
history may be serious
but it can also be a lot of fun! Keep laughing and learning!