Beer Jokes
Why did the beer file a police report?
It got mugged.
What do you call a beer that tells jokes?
A pun-derful brew!
Why don’t beers ever get lost?
They always follow the hops!
What did the bartender say after Charles Dickens ordered a martini?
Olive or twist?
Why was the beer always calm?
Because it knew how to chill.
How do you organize a beer party?
You brew it!
Why did the beer go to school?
To get a little “hops” education.
What’s a beer’s favorite type of music?
Anything with a good “beat.”
Cocktail Jokes
Why did the cocktail break up with the soda?
It found someone more refreshing!
What did one cocktail say to the other?
“You’re looking a little shaken!”
Why did the martini get kicked out of the bar?
It was too dirty!
What do you call a cocktail that’s always late?
A tardy-tini!
Why did the gin apply for a job?
It wanted to make some “cents.”
What did the whiskey say to the ice?
“You’re really cool!”
How does a cocktail get ready for a night out?
It puts on its best mix!
What do you call a cocktail that’s always gossiping?
A rumor-rita!
Wine Jokes
What did the grape say when it got stepped on?
Nothing
it just let out a little wine!
Why did the wine bottle break up with its cork?
It found someone more open!
What’s a wine’s favorite type of music?
Anything with a nice “vine.”
Why don’t grapes ever get lonely?
Because they hang out in bunches!
How do you make a wine laugh?
Just tickle its “vines.”
Why was the wine always invited to parties?
Because it knew how to “pour” on the fun!
What did the sommelier say to the grape?
“You’re grape-tastic!”
Why did the wine glass go to therapy?
It had too many issues to “pour” out!
Shot Jokes
Why did the shot glass apply for a job?
It wanted to make some quick “cash.”
What do you call a group of shots?
A “shot”gun wedding!
Why did the tequila get a promotion?
Because it always brings the “spirit!”
What did the shot say to the beer?
“You’re too mellow for me!”
Why was the shot glass always so confident?
It knew it could handle anything!
What’s a shot’s favorite game?
“Shot” put!
Why did the shot glass refuse to play cards?
It couldn’t handle the “deal!”
What do you call a shot that tells stories?
A “tale” of two cities!
Hangover Jokes
Why did the hangover apply for a job?
It needed to recover some “lost time.”
What’s a hangover’s favorite exercise?
Running to the bathroom!
Why don’t hangovers ever tell jokes?
Because they always fall flat!
What did the hangover say to the aspirin?
“You’re my only hope!”
Why did the hangover go to school?
To learn how to “recover”!
What do you call a hangover that tells puns?
A “pun-over!”
Why did the hangover bring a ladder?
To reach new heights of pain!
What’s a hangover’s favorite drink?
Anything that’s a little “hair of the dog!”
Thanks for enjoying these dad jokes about drinking! If you’re looking for more laughs
check out some hilarious dad jokes about deer hunting or take a look at these dad jokes about driving. Cheers to good times and great humor!