Jokes About the Afterlife
Why don’t ghosts like to go out in the rain?
Because it dampens their spirits.
I told my friend I was going to become a ghost.
He said
“You can’t just up and leave!”
Why did the skeleton go to the party alone?
He had no body to go with him.
What do you call a haunted chicken?
A poultry-geist.
Why did the vampire read the newspaper?
He heard it had great circulation.
What do you call a ghost with a broken leg?
A hoblin.
Why are graveyards so noisy?
Because of all the coffin!
What do you call a ghost’s true love?
A boo-tiful romance.
Jokes About Funerals
Why did the man bring a ladder to the funeral?
He heard the deceased was a high achiever.
What did the coffin say to the other coffin?
“You look a little down!”
Why don’t funerals ever get lost?
Because they always follow the hearse!
What’s a funeral director’s favorite game?
Hide and seek
but they always find you!
Why did the cemetery get so crowded?
People were dying to get in.
What did the deceased say to his family?
“I’ll be back… just not in this body!”
Why do they bury people with a pencil?
In case they need to draw their last breath.
What did the ghost say to the funeral director?
“I’ll take my business elsewhere!”
Jokes About Death and Taxes
Why is death like taxes?
Because they’re both unavoidable!
What do you call death’s accountant?
A tax-evader!
Why did the grim reaper become an accountant?
He wanted to count his blessings!
Why did the tax collector bring a coffin?
To collect the deadbeats!
What do you get when you mix death and taxes?
A grave situation!
Why don’t accountants fear death?
Because they know how to balance the books!
Why did the ghost refuse to pay taxes?
He claimed he was a spirit of the past!
What’s the only thing certain in life?
Death and taxes—unless you’re a ghost!
Jokes About Mortality
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field
even in death!
What did one grave say to the other?
“You look like you’ve seen better days!”
Why did the zombie go to therapy?
He had a lot of unresolved issues!
What’s the best way to deal with death?
Just “grave” it!
Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts!
What do you call a dead magician?
Ian!
Why did the ghost go to school?
To improve his “boo”-cabulary!
What did the deceased say to the living?
“I’m just taking a permanent vacation!”
Jokes About Being Dead
Why don’t dead people ever get lost?
Because they always know their way back!
What did the dead man say to his wife?
“I’ll always be with you in spirit!”
Why was the ghost so bad at lying?
Because you could see right through him!
What’s a dead person’s favorite exercise?
Deadlifts!
Why did the mummy go to the party?
He heard it was going to be a wrap!
What do you call a dead comedian?
A real “stand-up” guy!
Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue?
To get another rib!
What do you call a ghost that loves to dance?
A boogie-man!
Thanks for reading these dad jokes about death! If you enjoyed these puns
you might also like some dad jokes about dancing or even some delightful dad jokes about deer. Check them out at dad jokes about dancing and dad jokes about deer for more laughs!