Beer Jokes
Why do beers never get lost?
Because they always follow the hops!
What did the beer say to the wine?
Stop whining
let’s have a good time!
Why did the beer break up with the soda?
It couldn’t handle the fizz anymore!
How do you organize a beer party?
You just brew it!
What’s a beer’s favorite type of music?
Anything with a good lager rhythm!
Why did the beer go to school?
To get a little more “brew-cation”!
What do you call a beer that tells jokes?
A pun-derful brew!
Why don’t beers tell secrets?
Because they might get poured out!
Wine Jokes
Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road?
Because it ran out of juice!
What did the wine bottle say to the cork?
You’re just my type
let’s pop!
Why did the wine get kicked out of the party?
Because it was too corky!
What do you call a wine that’s always on time?
A merlot that knows how to clock in!
Why do wines never get lost?
Because they always follow the vine!
What did the wine say to the cheese?
We make a gouda pair!
Why did the wine blush?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
What do you call a wine that’s afraid of heights?
A low-key merlot!
Cocktail Jokes
Why did the cocktail get a promotion?
Because it always stirred up good ideas!
What did the bartender say after Charles Dickens ordered a martini?
“Please
sir
I want some more!”
Why did the cocktail file a police report?
It got shaken
not stirred!
What’s a cocktail’s favorite exercise?
Shaking weights!
Why do cocktails make great friends?
Because they always mix well!
What do you call a cocktail that tells the truth?
A straight shooter!
Why did the cocktail go to therapy?
It had too many layers!
How do cocktails stay in shape?
They do plenty of mixers!
Spirits Jokes
What did the whiskey say to the rum?
Stop being so mixed up!
Why did the vodka break up with the gin?
It found someone more on its level!
What do you call a ghost that drinks whiskey?
A boo-zy spirit!
Why are spirits so good at poker?
Because they always know how to bluff!
What did the tequila say to the lime?
You’re my zest friend!
Why did the spirit get a job?
To make a little extra “booze” money!
What do you call a group of spirits?
A hauntingly good time!
Why did the rum get in trouble?
Because it was caught sailing under the influence!
General Alcohol Jokes
Why don’t scientists trust atoms when they drink?
Because they make up everything!
What did the bartender say to the sad drink?
“Don’t worry
you’ll get poured again!”
Why do alcoholics make terrible detectives?
Because they can’t handle the proof!
What do you call a bad hangover?
A real headache on the rocks!
Why did the drink go to school?
To become a little more “intoxicated” with knowledge!
What did one drink say to the other?
“You crack me up!”
Why did the bottle go to therapy?
It had too many corked emotions!
What’s an alcoholic’s favorite exercise?
Whiskey squats!
Thanks for enjoying these hilarious dad jokes about alcohol! If you’re looking for more laughs check out some of our dad jokes about the 4th of July or explore our collection of dad jokes about aliens. Cheers to a good laugh!